A few weeks ago I wanted to surprise my girlfriend. How? With a nice set of sexy underwear! I mean,... well you know :). So I headed to the lingerie store. And although it is filled with the stuff of dreams! It is scary as shit to go in! As a friend stated: “I only go in, while tightly squeezing the hand of my girlfriend!” Hahaha! Why? I don’t know! No time to analyze. But somehow that place filled with stockings and lace,... was waaaaaay out of my comfort zone. … [Read more...]
How to grow more confident – stop abusing your reward system
Life is full of wonder. Especially for kids. Remember that time? So much to explore, so much to experience. Days filled with new discoveries. The smallest details evoked amazement! All experiences in your life felt like a beautiful melody. Every tiny feature a sonorous note within a grand harmony. There were first times experiences. The first time I rolled down a grassy hill was exhilarating. Refreshing! Scoring my first hockey goal was astounding! Man ow man, the first time eating pizza, just like the Ninja Turtles, amazing! I wish I could relive that! … [Read more...]
How to escape the vicious cycle of social anxiety
Procrastination. Gotta love it! Spreadsheet and whiny colleagues could wait. I needed some distraction. Time to saturate my mind with semi-useless information. Maybe I could even contribute a bit. You've got to do your part. So while skimming through Reddit, I noticed a peculiar post. … [Read more...]
Small talk, how to make the most out of it when you are shy!
“And this is my second girlfriend” The big biker gestured to a cute blonde 30-year-old. Well played Mr. Biker. The 6 feet tall, 120-kilo-something guy. He was pretty cool. Introducing me to his second girlfriend,… after I tried chatting up his first one. Hahaha,… oops! That was an awesome way to start a conversation. You compliment a woman on her rad tattoo. Before you know it, you are having beers with a polyamorous trio. We had a pretty interesting chat after that. Discussing love, drinking, life and other stupid shit. Never fancied I would talk so open to people so,…so unlike me honestly. What was that all about? … [Read more...]
Your unexpected cornerstone of genuine confidence
A few weeks ago I was having dinner with my girlfriend. Accidentally she showed me a treasure trove of hidden potential. While munching our dinner, we thought it was fun to play 36 questions. A get to know your date questionnaire. You'd reckon you would know each other pretty after 3 years. Nope, still learned a lot. When I asked her; “honestly tell me what you specifically like about me?" She replied: "How you love your stupid nerdy passions. It's amazing how you geek out and don’t care what other people think about it." I looked her in the face and started grinning. Hahaha. Did she really just say that? Where is an engagement ring if you need it!? … [Read more...]
The bullshit advice on confidence that works
Smake it smill you smake it! Doesn’t this piss you off? You want to learn to be confident. So you look for actionable advice. Might be because you are in a rut. Might be because you feel anxious around people. Or you are just plain shy and insecure. But you want to be brave, talk to new people, ask out cute girls. Or finally, ask for that fucking promotion. Enter Google. You type -How to be confident-. What pops up? This! This recycled advice pops up over and over. Fake it till you make it. Damn, that's no advice! Tired of hearing that shit? Me too!!! Okay, I have to be honest. I might,... maybe,... potentially,...be guilty of giving this advice as well. I am sorry. My bad. Because it leaves you clueless. So why is this advice so prevalent? And why do I still give the same advice? Well, it is good advice,... if interpreted right. Let me tell you a story. A long time ago, I read "fake it till you make it" for the first time. I was a nineteen-year-old dork. At a certain moment, … [Read more...]
100+ Key Elements to becoming a Confident and Social Bad Ass (part 3)
Welcome (back). We continue on our endeavor. Let's finish this list. Defining the key aspects of mastering the skills of confidence and socializing. This is part 3 of the list. Look here for part 1 and part 2. This part is focused on how you relate in a confident and healthy way with others. As well as how you can effectively socialize. … [Read more...]