I like not caring about what other people think of me. But... people always seem to test you. Last week at the office - I was just talking nonsense with my colleagues, when Anne drops her gossip bomb: “So Julia and Peter think you’re pretty weird.” ‘Thanks’ Anne for relaying the news. Her face intent with anticipation, she waited for my anxious response. But in my head, I already accepted … [Read more...]
Overcoming your fears – using Confidence Escalation
Is life unfair? Uhm yeah. Or at least, things are not evenly distributed. Some people are born rich, others beautiful. How about you? Born high on anxiety and awkwardness? ‘Luckily’ you’ve only learned to be shy and socially clumsy. As I’ve argued countless times, this is not a set state. You can develop, you can grow. Step by step you can overcome social anxiety. But how? It would be … [Read more...]
Cheat sheet – on how to feel comfortable around other people
A few months back I wrote a small talk cheat sheet, it really helped a lot of people. Thought I build upon that, and write some guidelines for comfortable conversation around new people. There already are a few articles on the subject, this is mostly a summary and an extension on a that. But since most of you guys only skim or don’t want to read a few 1000 words ;), voila a cheat sheet, hope … [Read more...]
17 insights to feel comfortable around others (and they around you)
Your sweat breaks out, drops race off your back. Your cheeks burn as you blush intensely,... Damn,... now everybody knows you are anxious, and what to do with your hands? Why do they feel like two spaghetti tentacles? So you nervously play with your thumbs,... No, put them in your pocket,... No pinch your forearms, aaaah! Where do you leave your hands? Wait! As you hazily gaze at the … [Read more...]
What to do if you don’t feel good enough for other people?
“I think I am not good enough? Why would someone ever talk to me?” Do you ever feel like that? Probably high school was NOT a fun time, maybe you had a few friends you were outcasts with. Of course dating wasn’t an option. Now a few years later, you have even fewer friends. You don’t really socialize, except a bit at work or during online gaming. But life goes on. And occasionally you do … [Read more...]
How to stop being the quiet guy
So you're at a party,... Took some guts to finally go, because normally you feel like the quiet guy. But you are there. You had a few nice chats one-on-one with some guys you kinda know. As you suddenly hear a burst of laughter, you look up and see a group bantering. So brewsky in hand, you walk up and see what is up. There is a group of guys with a fun dynamic, talking about D&D, haha, you … [Read more...]
Fullfilled and interesting, become who you are instead of a superficial follower!
Why is everyone else happy and you’re not? Maybe if you also post your lunch/ass/car on Insta you will feel better? Aah yes,...sweet dopamine, that was fun for the whole 42 likes! Now what? Maybe another picture? If you think this strategy is working, you’re in for a big surprise. By all means, keep looking at everybody else. Bent over your tiny screen, yup, don't look up at life … [Read more...]